My dilemma!!!

An ant is climbing up the wall to the right of my table and chair. It seems as if it is carrying something, something big, something heavy. It’s something white in colour. No!! It’s black. It seems like it changes colour every time I blink my eyes. It’s 5:27AM right now. The tube light is blinking continuously. I see shadows all around!! Shadows of my shoe rack, the door, the curtains, my pen and the shadow of the ant!!!! My eyes are paining. It burns!!! It burns badly. The tube light is about to go off!! I feel as if it has given up on me. It seems as if it is saying something to me. I can hear it. I can hear it speak, I don’t know what!!! I stand up from my chair and walk across to the other side of my room, near the tube light. Maybe, now I could hear it clearly!! But, I can’t hear anything now. Why??? Where’s the voice that was speaking to me??? Where has it gone??? I look around in disdain. I just want to find that!!! That voice which was my companion in this otherwise silent room. This silence haunts me!! Or maybe, it doesn’t. I think I love it!! I think I hate it!! As I look around, I see a glimpse of light. A very bright light. It is captivating!! It feels pure. So pure that it would loose it’s serenity if I touch it!!! I feel disgusted. I am so imperfect!!! So impure!! I am so dirty!!! I have given up on myself. I want to touch that light!! I don’t know why but I want to feel it. I follow the path which leads me towards it. It seems so far away!!! Why is it taking so long for me to reach there??? I feel as if it is running away from me. Running away so that I may not touch it. I run towards it!!! I won’t let it go. I won’t let it go like the voice!! The same voice that was my companion. I feel something pulling me behind. Something stopping me from going any further. I feel exhausted!! My legs are trembling. My lungs are aching!!! I want to stop!! But I want to run!!! I look back. I look back to see what’s pulling me. But I can’t see anything!! It seems so distant, so dark!!! I see something all of a sudden. It’s blurr!! It’s very blurr!! Is it my shoe rack?? Or my table?? Or my chair?? No!!! It is a shadow. The shadow of the ant!! It seems so large, so huge. My lungs are not aching anymore!! My legs are not trembling anymore!! I suddenly realise that I am far behind. I am far behind the light. I have to run!! I have to run hard!! I turn around and start running as fast as I could. It is fun!! It is really a lot of fun!! I see the light getting brighter. I am very close. Just about to reach. It is getting brighter and brighter!!! It seems I am about to reach. Just a few steps left!! It is very bright now. The darkness of my room has paved the way for this brightness!! And finally, I have reached!! I can touch the light. I can feel it. It’s so bright!! I am not able to open my eyes. I want to see but I am not able to. It seems even my eyes have given up on me!! Very slowly, I open them. Now I can see!! I can see the sun rising. I can see the the birds chirping. I can see the beauty of dawn!! I just realised that I am out in the balcony of my house. I can now hear an alarm ringing. Seems like it’s 5:30 AM. My parents are about to wake up.

I suddenly feel a lease of new life in me!! I feel the freshness!! My eyes don’t burn now!! They don’t pain anymore. I feel a whole new splurge of ideas in my mind. I feel so stupid. Stupid for not being able to think of them before. I turn around and go back to my room. I walk past my almirah, my cricket bat, the sofa and feel as if everything is passing on some idea or the other to my mind. I sit on my chair, pick up my pen and start writing again!! The tube light doesn’t blink anymore!!! The ant, it seems , too has reached its home. I think of new ideas and explore an entirely new world full of emotions and joy!!! Afterall I have to write my first article on WordPress!! My first article. I am nervous, yet excited!! How would my first article be??? Which topic would it be on?? Will everyone like it?? It’s my first article afterall!! It should be my best. It should be wonderfully written on a wonderful topic. It’s very tough but I will manage!! My mind has not yet given up on me. I feel the freshness in my ideas. The ideas that I have been thinking of for so long!!! My parents are out of their bed. I can now hear them talking. I can hear them working and doing their daily chores. My mother would soon get me a cup of coffee. Amongst all this noise, I write peacefully!!!!